Ironic Foxes
by Lady Otori
Summary: Ten seconds wasn't long enough for his sad excuse of a life to flash before his eyes: foregoing that option, he simply stared at the sun, and let the fox scream on the way down, because, demon or not...a fox can't fly. oneshot


Hi guys it's only a one-shot, don't worry; nothing to do with any of my other stories.

Warning: _This ficlet has been rated 'M' due to to scenes which some readers may find distressing._

Onward we go!

-

It had taken a while, but he finally cracked when his ramen had been undercooked and he'd _liked _it. Tried to tell himself that the dark, viscous liquid was soy sauce- which was good, ordinary people liked soy sauce- but it failed, and he had to sit there, and admit that the pig's blood in his mouth was _tasty._

Naruto was a simple sort, on the surface- but underneath his bright smiling exterior; his interior strength of character; even beyond the reaches of the demon, was a locked box, so to speak, of things that were okay, and things that _weren't._

Surprisingly, it had been Kiba who had helped him out the most when his eyes started to bleed red more often and he sometimes cut his hands on his claws. He'd told him all about the strange urges he sometimes had, and how it helped to make a list of things that were socially acceptable, or otherwise. Recently the 'bad' list had far outgrown the 'good'.

So, later that night, he tried to kill himself.

It failed; either his hands were shaking too much to tie the rope or the sleeping pills he'd taken had been defunct.

"Soy sauce." The young man muttered wearily to himself. "Soy sauce."

He also failed at noticing the pink-haired, very worried young woman astride the roof opposite his. When he tumbled into bed (the wardrobe, as it was warmer) and fell into either a deep sleep or a coma, she crept silently away towards the administration towers, to sign him officially in early retirement.

-

Next morning, or maybe it was the one after that- he wasn't sure how long he slept- he was served with the papers declaring him unfit for duty.

Naruto's first worry was that someone had found out about the blood; it dissipated rapidly when he saw the reason for his discharge.

_Attempted Suicide._

The words glared at him, and he took out his anger on the tree outside his house.

When he was finished, there wasn't even a depression in the ground; at least, not equal to the one gripping his mind.

-

Kakashi came to visit him the day after that- to talk, he said.

"Bit late." Naruto said, bitterly.

Kakashi looked down, lost for words.

"I'm sorry." He offered, and left for a mission, leaving the boy behind more saddened, and confused than before.

Those two words meant a hell of a lot; but it was, to put it quaintly, 'too little too late.'

-

Gaara tried next; he left the house a mere ten minutes later, lasting longer than Kakashi, but less than would be expected from a kindred spirit.

When pressed for an answer, he said only-

"I'll put something up in Sand as well."

-

"Soy sauce." Naruto crowed. "T'weren't pig's blood."

He said this quite sincerely to his reflection, but it only stared back placidly at him, not trying to deny the fact. All through this, the angry roar of the demon inside of him drummed through his ears, so loud that the whole village could probably hear it.

To pass the time (he was under unofficial house arrest) the young man scribbled down the lists that he kept filed away in his brain.

Number one: Flexing whiskers. (bad)

His writing failed him at some points, because he could barely hold the pen in his claws, but the message still rolled out loud and clear.

No matter how big he made the 'good' text, it wasn't ever going to loom over the 'bad.'

-

"-don't need anyone to watch him..."

"Who'd want to?"

"good way to go..."

-don't you think?"

"-the demon..."

"-will probably save him..."

He was going blind, not deaf. The hurried, whispered conversations of the guards at his door painted a bleak picture of the village's attitude towards his slow demise.

Naruto grinned.

There was still enough of himself left that he wasn't going to just drift away like some unwanted junk.

When he bit the dust, it was going to be from a very high altitude.

-

The whole village heard the screams of the fox as he soared to his death. Soared- not fell. The young man had escaped from his prison of a home, climbed painstakingly up the hokage mount, and thrown himself off of the fourth's head.

Demon or not, a fox can't fly.

Naruto had about ten seconds to either regret his decision or make the most of it- he chose the latter, and let the fox tear his mouth open with it's screams, and curses, and profanities; all of which were pointless in lieu of the impending impact.

Ten seconds wasn't long enough to cover his whole life; foregoing the option of watching it flash before him, the young man instead stared directly into the sun. It didn't hurt as much as it should of- he realised that his brain was in shock already, preparing mutely to die- so he contented himself with peacefully gazing at it until his head smashed against the inviting ground.

His last vision was of sakura, but the tree, not the sometimes-friend.

-

Gaara kept his cryptic promise- he had Naruto's name added to the list of honourable shinobi, and erected a small statue in remembrance.

There were stone foxes curling around his equally hard feet; but he was standing on them, and they looked insignificant, unmemorable.

-

In Konoha, there was nothing- not a name, nor a carving; but Tsunade buried her necklace with him, and every year his erstwhile friends trekked solemnly to the Valley of the End, where they laid out offerings to him.

Sometimes they saw Sasuke hovering around in the distance, sometimes they didn't.

And sometimes, they fancied that the shadow of a fox clung around the area; a fox, but with blue eyes and a smile that wasn't entirely vulpine.

Whatever- whoever- it was, it allowed them to pet it; but when the gathered ninja tried to take it back to Konoha, it bit them and ran away.

It didn't matter- though there was a bitter sense of injustice about the affair (coming as a fox for a _second _time) at least there was an ironic humour in it; Naruto's favourite form of wit.

-

AN: Wai I'm depressed today. Can you tell?

Review if you're hardcore. v.v


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